How to Begin Again

The day passed by in a blur. Julian did his usual thing, schedule never varying. He hit every emotion perfectly on camera, laughed with his costars at their interview prep, reassured Clark that he was getting better every day and got some needed advice for his date, and fought with Carmen for the movie role that he knew in his heart he needed but that she thought might be too much in his condition. The reminder of what was happening that night prodded at the back of his mind throughout the entire day, keeping him from being fully present no matter where he was. He was going on a date with Logan, a real date. When the meeting was finally over and a reminder was plugged into his phone about the finally confirmed date of his “back to the world” photo shoot, Julian slid into his chauffeured town car, still not well enough to drive again, and headed back to his penthouse.

According to the clock, Logan would be picking him up in an hour, and the star paced his large bedroom back and forth nervously. What on earth was he thinking? He couldn’t go on a date with Logan; it would all just be a disaster. He was in love and Logan wasn’t and that was just how it had to be. He had accepted that three years ago and had been living as best as he could, but now Logan knew and came in and turned everything upside down. Julian had been on plenty of dates before in his life, but never one like this. No date had ever been as significant as he knew this one was, and he was beyond nervous for how his and Logan’s relationship would be at the end of the night. Pulling on black Converse, skinny jeans, and a white t-shirt and leather jacket, Julian pulled out his phone to call himself down. He sighed when he realized he couldn’t call Logan, for obvious reasons, or Derek, because he’d probably tell Logan, and he didn’t want to bother Clark again. Abandoning his phone on his dresser, he gelled his hair to stand up artfully, heart racing when he heard the knock on his door. Walking over to the door slowly, he knew it had to be Logan since security wouldn’t have let anyone else through. Trembling slightly with nerves, he opened the door, forcing a small imitation of the Hollywood smile onto his face as he was greeted with the sight of the boy he’d been in love with for what felt like forever. “Hey, Lo,” he whispered, cheeks blushing lightly against his will.

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    Logan smiled as Julian grabbed his sleeve, surprised at how forward the boy was being. He followed him into the lobby,...
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    Julian smiled softly, the drowsiness seeping into his bones, coming over him suddenly like it often did these days. His...
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